Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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