Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize