How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Randomize