you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
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Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
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Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
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