there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize