I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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