oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
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I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
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