btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
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I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
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Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
50% drunk capacity currently
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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