I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
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