yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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