I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize