I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
only if we run a train.
done.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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