Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Randomize