You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
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