And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize