Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
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You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
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i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
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