Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
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I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
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