I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
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