you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
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