You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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