It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
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