What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
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I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
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My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
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