Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
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Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
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Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
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