Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
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