just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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