she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize