I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
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