Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
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You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
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When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
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