I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
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I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
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My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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