I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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