we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
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Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
We have so much sex to catch up on
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
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I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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