Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
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