a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Randomize