It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize