PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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