i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
My liver just had a heart attack.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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