Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I would ride that face into the sunset
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize