Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
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