she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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