On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
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