Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
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