I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
Randomize