you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
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