brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
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Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
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I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
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