So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
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I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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