Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
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