the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
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