two words: eviction party
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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