i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Randomize