When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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